Thursday, December 30, 2004

aileen's birthday!!!


aileen's birthday2
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.
Just got some pics from Melissa of Aileen's birthday, which we celebrated the night of the big fight in Taguig. We had some dinner at the persian place in The Fort, and that was some dinner! :-) Twas really great and we had a blast hangin and partyin' with Aileen and Arnel, the fullbrighters,as well as the rest of the medschool crew. Ahhh, good memories... :-)

miscellany

This is soooo freaky it gave me goosebumps just reading it.

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The Ousted Prez is speaking gibberish again (YARG.)

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Today is Rizal Day, the day when Jose Rizal, the national hero, was executed. It's the 108th anniversary --- Happy Rizal day! But isn't it weird that we celebrate his death rather than his birthday?

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Things to do....

... before the New Year breaks:

- get the apartment cleaned (OC tendency kickin' in)
- lose 10 pounds pronto!
- buy round fruits for the apartment

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Which leads me to think about the more pressing issue of: Where am i spending new year's eve? An array of scenarios to choose from:
- Makati Ayala/Paseo street party
- The Fort street party
- Red Box countdown party
- party at Jasonic's (probably)
- at the apartment

I am seriously confused. This is my first New Year's here and dammit, i want to Party! At the same time, i keep thinking about practical matters like getting home from say, Makati, after the party winds down, who i'm gonna be with, etc. I was hoping for the greater scenario of friends getting together, maybe drinking and getting tipsy and enjoying the night, but so far, what i've confirmed is that most people will be spending it with family. *sigh* So many choices....

the countdown begins...

I had an interesting day yesterday. Coming in around 8ish in the a.m., i was "welcomed" into the metro with -- what else?-- traffic. Surprisingly, it was pretty light, and for a monday at that. It was a holiday, but then again, it still IS the Xmas season, so i was preparing myself for some traffic bedlam, which, happily, was not the case at all. Got to go home quicker than i expected, and i was able to get some of my errands done (get groceries, call Manila Water, etc.) before heading out to grab some lunch (no one was home yet). After some sleep i met up with Manila at the gym for some dance classes, which we totally got exhausted from. (my first day in the gym after a looong time and i end up getting all flustered and wheezy.*sigh*) We caught up on news and some chicka, finishing off the evening with some great dessert at her lola's place while watching Bowling for Columbine. I really missed hangin with her! Manila is definitely one of the gals i am so happy and proud to be friends with --- not only is she smart, sweet and sassy, she's a pretty great soccer player, and a great gal to hang out with and talk to. She can be kikay yet tough at the same time, all the while handling the change with finesse. You go gurl! :-)

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You ever get that feeling that you're missing someone so bad you count the days until you meet up again? Well, forgive me for being ultra-mushy (stop reading if you're the cynical, non-romantic type) but i have officially gotten myself into that mode. Technically, it'll be four days till my sweetie comes back from his hometown. Christmas was a blast, but now i'me eagerly looking forward to the new year, mainly because i'll be seeing him again. *sigh* Words fail me when i try to describe how much i wanna see this guy --- ok, ok, i'll stop. :-P

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Monday, December 27, 2004

rainy days and mondays...

...always get me down.

It's a couple of hours before i'm off back to Manila, and it's downright pouring, which makes me a bit uneasy about my flight. Yes, folks, after spending asmall amount of time here in the province, i am flying back to messy Manila for some more work during the season of Xmas.

It's been quite a hectic couple of days, right from when i landed until the time i am about to fly off again. My lola's traditional 24th eve party was, as usual, filled with cousins and uncles and aunts to the brim (as of current count, i have 45 first cousins, and that's just from my mom's side!), not to mention a peppering of those lunches and dinners "sponsored" by an uncle or aunt who recently flew in from elsewhere. For christmas day we had to go off to the beach where we had another christmas party, this time for people in who work with my folks, as well as mingle with most of my parents' friends. I tell you, what i thought to be a slacker's paradise of a vacation quickly got fizzled out into something resembling a vacationer's nightmare.

Still, despite the horrendous activities i had to encounter (withstanding nosy aunts and tackless friends who tell me i'm FAT for the nth time, dealing with annoying bratty cousins, smiling ever-so-keenly towards people you don't know who pester you with information about yourself you'd rather not tell), it was good seeing my family again and once again uphold the tradition of bickering, guilt-tripping and yes, thanksgiving. ;-) I loved seeing my niece for the first time, see my folks check out the gifts i gave them (they weren't pure gold, but hey, i personally bought them!) as well as be happy knowing that my brothers didn't throw my gifts away (haha).

Ok, selfishness aside: I am very happy to spend time with my family. We may not be the ideal family, but hell, i love them and yes, i am glad i came home this christmas.

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ON other news, i do hope the people in the asian areas affected by the quake are doing better, or at least getting all the help they can get. I hope the rains stop... and soon.

happy holidays!

merry christmas everyone!

sharing some interesting text messages i've been getting throughout the holidays:

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I never knew the economy was so bad until i talked to Santa Claus:

Me: so, how's rudolf?
Santa: Delicious!


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May your christmas be filled with wonderous joy and may your weight not exceed than your refigerator!

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HOliday cheers and hopes for frendships: more honesty, integrity,prosperity, lower cholesterol, safer sex and sanity in his already insane world. Merry Christmas!

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Thursday, December 23, 2004

Just what is it with today!?!!?

It's the 23rd, the day of supposed excitement and happiness. And yet, everywhere i went, disaster strikes.

I'm not just saying disaster of the holiday kind --- that, after all is no surprise during these times, considering it's a couple of days before Christmas. You have tension on family gatherings (anybody up for some embarassing stories?), hurried last-minute shopping (sheesh, you didn't know her sister's cousin's uncle was going to join you!) and yes, the ever-growing traffic in and out of the malls.

I'm talking about all that physical disaster you'd think would happen sporadically in your life. Today i witnessed two fires, two major car accidents and a boy hit by a cab from the back.

Ok, about the fires: we went for last minute gift shopping in a downtown mall. Goin' to the parking area (which was situated on top of a building across the mall) we saw that the resto downstairs catch fire and the people speculating while firetrucks came in. The air reeked of gas and burned plastic, with dark black smoke billowing from the inside. (I had my lomo with me, so i took this opportunity to take some pics) What a display of firetrucks! I never knew there were that many firetrucks or organizations on fire prevention in our place :-P

The second fire was somewhere near the airport, which was situated next to another major mall area (hence the huge traffic jam it caused). It was a fire which consumed three houses but was quickly stopped (our firemen are pretty quick! Yehey!)

The car accidents: Going home, we passed by the city hall, where there was a slow down of traffic brought about by a motorcycle hit at the back by a car. Apparently the car's brakes were shot, because from the damage, it was a real dizzy ride --- the bike lay in pieces, its rear end almost unrecognizable. Amazingly, the driver only suffered a limp.

We nearly got into one ourselves, because some idiot driver on a bike decided to cut us and head right (he was from FAAAR left) good thing my brother who was driving then, had the presence of mind to stop immediately, otherwise he would have been smashed between our van and a HUGE truck. *sigh* What the hell is the matter with these guys!?

The last two incidents occured tonight, on our way to dinner. We were at an intersection, and saw a cab run into a boy on a bike. Apparently the driver didn't see him (he claimed he was watching out for us, since we were gonna turn into his direction)In his state of shock he was momentarily paralyzed, staying in his cab, not even bothering to check if the kid was ok. My mom and brother, together with the driver, went over to the boy and look for help. Poor kid, and he was only learning how to ride the bike! Luckily (and thanks to my mom's insistence) we were able to get the driver to bring the kid to the hospital nearby.

After our dinner together with family, we went home, only to come across this truck surrounded by firetrucks and yes, an almost accordion-like car in front. Rear collisions are rampant tonight! From the scene, it had been a while since the incident happened, and the injured parties have been sent to the hospital.

Geez. All those accidents and only a few hours till christmas! :-S What is it with today!!?!

My two cents' worth of the FPJ hullabaloo

It's been quite a while since i actually blogged anything new (this blog has become a photo blog for some reason...tee-hee) I'm in the province taking some VL from the big bad world of work --- but even here i am buggered by messages from printers and workers asking about office related things --- when will this end!?! *sigh* Anyhoo, the whole FJ affair has been dragging on since he lost the elections and now has escalated to a major newspiece in all countries because of his death. For those who are reading this, these are my views --- and mine alone. So there.

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The FPJ burial was the day i left for the province. It was actually disconcerting, since there has been a lot of speculation on what this may result to. I'm really glad i got myself a 5am flight back home--otherwise i would have been stuck in traffic (starting 4am, no less!)

The turnout was well, more interesting than i expected. Arriving home, i checked the news, only to find out that the FPJ became a vehicle for political propaganda for FPJ's supporters and comrades. Sheesh. Weren't these the same people who clamored that his death shouldn't be used for political reasons, that this should be a solemn/non-political event!?!!

I can't blame supporters of people who truly believe in his cause. After all, they have every right to it. My concern is why the HELL did they have to utilize his death for such means? It's infuriating to think that it is people who do not know how to go about it are the people who scream about it the loudest. There they were, Mr. Mulach and Mr. Gomez, even the ousted Estrada, screaming insistently about the fraud in the elections and claiming that the Da King was indeed the true president. *doh!* as Homer would say. So much for any shred of respect i still had for these people. Estrada had the gall to claim that the presidency was robbed from him. (Newsflash Mr. Estrada: We took you out of it because you sucked as a president and you are a complete failure as a leader)

I can't share the sentiment of most people about FPJ --- for me, he will always be the actor whose work i admired (hey, i watched Panday when i was a kid, and i actually saw his film with Sharon, not to mention a couple of his ala Clintwood movies) growing up and SMB's most popular and enduring endorser. Politically, i am skeptical on his claim that he can run the country.

I sometimes wonder if the reaction towards his death be this extreme had he not run for presidency. I truly doubt it. The entire film industry will be there of course, lotsa flowers, from supporters and fans everywhere, just like they did with past great actors and actresses. But the whole hysteria of this event leave me with a weird taste in my mouth. Is he really worth all this? Perhaps yes, if we consider his work and legacy in film --- but to claim that he is the "chosen" one for president? I don't think so. I am disappointed that people can be easily swayed by their emotions.

Thank God for Dolphy though. His humor and speech was the icebreaker of tension (which fizzled so quickly after somebody else took the mike and started spurting out whatever the hell wanted to say) and political drama which permeated throughout the entire event.

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You know what's more infuriating? The fact that the clamor for change has to be taken through these means. Have we become such pathetic examples of democracy that every change in the country has to be met up by force or drama? People think of progress by means of drastically upheaving the goverment, instead of working with it. I am all for change, believe me, but destabilizing national security doesn't do anything to achieve this.

I sense a bizaare pattern in us. We are never contented with what we have. Every new president is always met up with criticism, true. After all, we need to check and balance the things that are happening. But nowadays we just do that, most f the time without just cause, and blame it on whoever's up there. I'm sure that if FPJ or whoever is in power, when things start happening, like oil price increase, etc., we'd be blaming the president for it, though he/she may be just taking in for the past mistakes of those who preceded him/her. GMA is not exactly my ideal president, but given the new lease she's been given, i am highly expectant of what she will do with this opportunity. Do us some good, Gloria. Please.

Yes, we're stuck with GMA, as one blogger may have said. Nothing much we can do now. And, it's ironic that we as a people once considered her to be the best best in the elections. Whatever happened to just sticking with it and doing our best to work on change with it? I am tired of all the fighting. I am tired of all the bickering, the petty remarks, barely concealed in the pretext of "syempre, dapat igalang namin natin ang administrasyon, pero... mali sila!". Crap.

And we wonder why the hell we're in this state.

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related readings you might wanna check out:
Poe laid to rest
more news
and then some..
about the eulogy
editorial on Poe's death

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

lomo_n_me


lomo1
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.
That's right baby! I blew my hard-earned cash for a slick and saucy lomo action sampler, which is waay kewl (if not a bit bulky). Here's moi taken with my retro cam, which proved to be quite a conversation piece (the camera, not my picture!!!) Tee-hee, i can't wait to take pics of family and friends with this thang!

Monday, December 20, 2004

camboy_luv


camboy_luv
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.
here's my sweetie sayin sweet nuthin's through his newly-purchased webcam. Ain't he sweet!

Sunday, December 19, 2004

what-have-yous of the day

It's 12:30 noontime and i just came from Paco Park in Manila,where a good friend's wedding was celebrated. What supposed to be a lazy sunday turned out to be a no-sleep early AM getting ready and psyched for the morning celebration.

Thing was, i attended a really late Xmas party at ipanema last night, an invitation from the guys and gals of IC. I was feeling a bit under the weather hours before that, but thankfully, i was able to get out of the house around that time --- after all, it IS a saturday! Anyhoo, met up with Mitzy and Paolo at The Coffee Bean (had to do a lil' store checkin') and had enough coffee to keep me up (or so i thought). We chatted for a bit before heading off to Ipanema, where the crowd was rockin' to the hifhof beat. Met the peeps i hung out with during the Bora trip, and got to meet a few new faces. I didn't drink much (2 beers) but i was able to have myself a really nice time chatting and catching up with everybody. Pao drove me home around 3, where i entertained myself by watching Friends (again!) on dvd.

Jason was online! :-D We got to chat and catch up, and i managed to hook up my webcam for him to see me. Gosh, i really miss him! I can't wait to see him again next year! Aww... two more weeks....

So, with a 6am pick up going to the church from another friend, Jitz, i psyched myself not to sleep and instead get my clothes ready. Sure enough, Jitz came by around 6 and we headed off to Lizzie's place (another invited barkada).

I guess we overestimated how long it would take us to get to the church (we though it would be traffic going there, since we were passing by the church where FPJ's body lies) and ended up being really early for the wedding (the invite said 830, we came in an hour early!) So, with time in our hands, we ended up grabbing breakfast at a nearby McDonald's and grabbing a cuppa joe at Starbux before heading back to the church.

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The wedding was a small and intimate affair --- family and close friends were present and sadly for our barkada, only 3 of us came.Still, it was such a very nice affair because we truly got to see our friend's happiness being realized. They held teh reception in the park (outside of the church) a garden brunch which had such a romantic feel you can't help but like :-)

Weddings are such weird occasions for me. I have the tendency to do the opposite of what everybody does (call it my rebellious streak) and for this event, i wasn't crying my eyes out like everybody else, just a bit disconcerted and dazed throught the whole time. I am very happy for Terence and Kookie, though. It's so obvious that they are truly happy and content to be finally together, bound legally. Their darling daughter, Sam, is such a sweet and smart kid! *sigh* It's sad and somewhat melancholy when you think about your friends moving on and being "grown-ups" now... Lizzie, Jitz and I mused about it all throughout the reception, thinking how much has changed...

Anyway, we left around lunch time, after the bouquet had been thrown, the garter has been slung and yes, the bride and groom had said their thanks to all those who came. It's a tearful (Lizzie was crying everytime somebody cried) and a very happy event. Awww.....

I wonder who's next in the barkada?

heheheh...
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Saturday, December 18, 2004

christmas party!

Last night

I left work late and had to commute all the way back to the apartment carrying a VERY heavy book, a whole cake (for the party) and my office stuff. Sheesh, the holidays can sap all your energy, i tell you! Took the mrt/lrt route and the people there are so fucking insensitive you'd blow your head off with a gun in front of them and they still wouldn't care. Did anybody help a struggling gal with her heavy stuff? NO. Did anybody at least offer his/her seat? NO. Fuckin' zombies.

Anyhoo, i got home at last and had only a few minutes to freshen up before Paolo picked me up to go to Ajo's place. Last night we celebrated the annual "barkada get-together" , a.k.a. christmas partee. Since it was potluck, we passed by Pao's house to get his share --- chicken and some corn n' carrots. Sophie, his niece, was also there and she and i played for a bit while Pao got his food. She is soooo cute! Gawd, i now understand why Pao is such the proud uncle. She kinda got mad at me because we had to leave early and i couldn't play with her toys anymore though. Awww...

What supposedly was to start at 7pm ended up starting out around 10ish in the p.m. --- why? We had no beer and no food. Hahaha. Fate smiled oh so snidely on us when we found ourselves bored, hungry and kinda anxious over not having anything to eat or --gasp!-- drink. We busied ourselves with Miloy's name game (name 10 movies of...), preliminary tong-its (a starter daw), and idle chitchat. Oh yeah, and the occasional nibbling of Miloy's baked tahong.

Soon, however, we managed to get some food in our bellies and beer into our system, heheh! Lotsa picture-takings, gift-sharing, updates on work, etc. and yes, meeting old faces once again. Hmmm. Like everything, everybody's getting older. :-P

Friday, December 17, 2004

C'mon baby light my fire...

You know that it would be untrue
You know that I would be a liar
If I was to say to you
Boy, we couldn't get much higher
Come on baby, light my fire
Try to set the night on fire
The time to hesitate is through
No time to wallow in the mire
Try now we can only lose
And our love become a funeral pyre
Come on baby, light my fire
Try to set the night on fire, yeah
The time to hesitate is through
No time to wallow in the mire
Try now we can only lose
And our love become a funeral pyre
Come on baby, light my fire
Try to set the night on fire, yeah
You know that it would be untrue
You know that I would be a liar
If I was to say to you
Girl, we couldn't get much higher
Come on baby, light my fire
Try to set the night on fire

All i want...


lomo_cam_i_want!
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.
... at the moment is a lomo cam. I've been thinking about this camera for mor ethan four days now, and i know it's one serious buy if i do get one. I realize that this will never be as good as a digicam (i've been saving up for that) but somehow the retro chic/coolness factor of this baby is too good to resist.
How much am i drooling for this? Enough to make me think of ways on how to get to Makati and buy it at that store in G3 (priced somewhat atrociously!). Gimme a few more hours to think about it... if i still think about it tomorrow, it's bye-bye savings!

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Yey! Jason emailed! whoo-hoo! :-)

Thursday, December 16, 2004

another night of Friends

I spent a night at my apartment watching --- what else? --- Friends.

I left work late last night, and surprisingly had nothing to do. I planned to get some stuff, go over to Jason's and spend the night at Starbux, hanging (i never got to do that anymore). But, after making myself dinner and cleaning up my space in the room, i found myself plugging in the dvds of the sitcom into our player. What did that get me? four hours of non-stop watching, of my ass glued to the sofa while doing absolutely nothing.

*sigh*

I really should think of more things to occupy my time. I am being sucked into the hypnotic glow of the screen, rendering my other senses completely useless while doing so.

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More of Da King

Just what is it with this recent passing? I can't help but be cynical over the whole hullabaloo --- Piercing pens gives a compilation of some interesting reactions (including mine, haha).

Of course, my fave was sassy lawyer's comment :-)

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I miss Jason. (again, my daily rant)

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

some interesting reads...

... while surfing the net for images:

Psychicpants gives some farewell commentary on the late Da King.

One of my high school teachers gives us a taste of his poetry skills.

Minda gives me an update of her recent adventures.

Pixellemafia ranting out.

I cannot believe how weird pinoys are over FPJ's death.

highlights of yesterday

Party schmarty
As i earlier blogged, we had another xmas party (a sister company) which lasted until the wee hours of the morning. I stuck for a bit in the office, hoping that i can continue on to a half day stretch and leave around 10 am, but my contacts were totally killing me and i forgot my glasses at home. Hence, i had no choice but to go home and take them off before i blind myself.

Slept until the afternoon, only to wake up with a hangover the size of a continent. It hurt to actually blink (must be from the shitty absolut mandarin) and it took me three more hours before i felt human enough to go out and do errands. Didn't attempt to go to work anymore (i don't think i would have functioned properly anyway), instead worked on paying the bills, etc. *sigh* Another domesticated day in the life of lette...

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girls' night out
Melissa, Mitzy and I decided to do a potluck dinner at Melissa's pad. Had salad, pasta (compliments of moi!) and some really good siomai Melissa made (i didn't eat it, though --- it had pork) while watching Spongebob. We moved on to T.Morato to have some dessert at Cafe Breton (a good choice!) and split crepes of all sorts. Capped the night off at Chili's for some margaritas and ended up pretty buzzed! tee-hee.

We ended up kinda wasted and laughing, with Melissa talking about her standards of dating and guys, Mitzy exasperatedly talking about her being "poor" in Iowa and me well, pretty much absorbing everything happening. We were having laughing fits all the way home that we never even noticed Melissa's missing keys 'till we were in front of her pad. Luckily, the driver was really nice and honest, he gave the keys to the guard downstairs who rang us up about it. whew!

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Jason called just a few minutes ago!!! :-D Yehey!!!!

I really miss his voice! Yes, i am THAT excited and giddy (notice all the exclamation points)--- he's in LA at a friend's house, so we got to talk longer through the landline. God, i really miss him a lot. It's really weird how one's life can go back to normal yet somehow feel that there's something different --- i mean, we each are living apart for now, and we've pretty much settled back to the individual lives we led before getting together, but it feels like we should be together while doing these stuff, y'know? *sigh* I just miss him so much... can't wait till next year!

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

it's 4 in the morning...

... and i'm at work.

Nope, it's not an OT. I'm actually kinda buzzed, and just came from our company xmas party.

Why, would you ask, would i go straight to work after a party? The answer is pretty much a combination of factors: One, i had to take a cab with a couple of people who were on their way here; two, i think i am a little too driunk to go anywhere else (i am actually typing this a little too fast).

Hmmm. I am planning to stay here until 8am where i will then go to the store outlet in Cubao for breakfast,a nd head off home to sleep off this friggin' buzz (hoipefully by that time i will be restful and sleepy).

The party was ok. As usual, we started off at 12mn, and yes, there was a LOT of drinking. ALmost joined one of the drinking games, but now thati think about it, i am glad i didn't other wise i don't think i will be able to stand myself in the morning. I am buzzed, as i said earlier, just really buzzed. We came there pretty much for dancing, and i ended up getting tipsy and slightly groped by one of our co-workers. Understandably he was drunk, but hell, his grip on my arm was so damn tight it was taking everything in me not to sock him. He also made me drink a lot of vodka (yikes!) but good thing i was able to avert it by slipping the alcohol into his coke. Hahaha.

Argh. I want to sleep now.

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Monday, December 13, 2004

itaas mo!

Fernando Poe, Jr. (known by fans better as FPJ) is currently confined to St. Luke's for his bout with a heart attack (he is currently in a coma). I cannot believe myself, but i find myself keenly checking out the news every so often to see if his condition will turn out for the worse.

Admittedly, i am not a big fan of this guy, but strangely i find myself having some weird ounce of respect for him as a movie actor --- he is, after all, the quintessential underdog in filipino films, playing the still-waters-run-deep type of characters. He has long been considered an icon, with his laid-back persona, beer-drinking, countless movies and yes, connections to controversial people. Never mind that one arm is shorter than the other (that is the rumored reason why he always has his hands in his pockets), he has some weird charisma in him that draws people, especially the masa to adore and love him (previous election counts prove this, as well as the almost psychotic demand for a recount when the results came in). SMB, the local beer, owes most of its sales to this beer-chugging guy. Politics-wise, however, i remain steadfast in the fact that him as our president would have been a turn for the worse (hey, that's just me).

Anyhoo, the coverage of this guy's battle with death is fast plastering the front pages of all news sources, and from what i hear, it'll only be a matter of time before we know the final result.

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missing my sweetie

The christmas week is soo close and i am missing Jason even more.

I got an email from him earlier and after reading it i was experiencing two emotions almost simultaneously --- happiness from the fact that he has emailed (and is thinking about me) and sadness from the fact that he is not physically here. I miss having him text me (or vice versa) about odd things that happen in his (or my) day, seeing him and just being with him.

*sigh*

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I've been keeping myself busy with work so i wouldn't have to think so much about him though. Mitzy and I went to the outlet opening at the Gateway yesterday, where we met up with Haydee and her cousins, Mary and Herb. We rode the LRT going there, all the while talking about the commuting progress the new train has given Manila. The outlet looked great! Though we were a late in opening, the number of people who went in was pretty big, and it was really nice to have an outlet near Katipunan that we can finally hang out at (so close!)

Had a "mini-meeting" with the roomies later in the evening. We discussed the problems we had at the apartment (broken bulb, etc.) as well as the pre-christmas preparations we had to do (clean up, etc.) before lounging back and catching up on things. Yuma is busy rehearsing these days for her show on the 27th (you go girl!). Lucy is doing her soccer thing and moi? well, i'm working, as usual. :-P Got myself a massage afterwards to try to get my body psyched for another week of stress. *sigh*

Dinner at Melissa's was an all-girl affair, with Mel, Mitzy, Lucy and me present. Potluck was replaced by delivery of pizza, courtesy of Yellow cab. Yummy! We dished out and caught up on the gossip while watching tv and surfing the net. Multi-taskers, that we are! ;-) After the sweet fare we headed down to Seattle's best to meet up with my friend Paolo, who just came back from Vietnam a few weeks back. It's good to see him again! He gave us a lowdown of his trip and gave us pretty interesting feedback on places to go. hmmm... i really hope i can travel next year!

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Saturday, December 11, 2004

mukha bang sabog?


Lette and Paolo
Originally uploaded by clang-fu.
This pic was taken waay back, at Saguijo bar by my friend clang. Paolo, another good friend and i headed out to the famed bar for some funk music, as well as check out Clang's band, Whateveritakes. Note the smirk and weird grin --- we were caught off guard by the whole pic taking scenario since we just came in adn got lost on the way to the place. :-P

yesterday...

... i saw a life-size toy of piano keys in a supermarket, kinda like the one they had in the movie BIG. Kids were stepping on the keys, making some cute music. I couldn't help but smile :-) I love seeing this taking place, it looks surreal. It makes me miss my sweetie.

... i checked out UPM's Katutubong ELVIS, where my friends and i got to see some college alumni, old friends, old flames and yes, even old enemies. It was at the UP Lagoon, somewhat small yet interestingly enough, appropriate, with the clear starry night and some good ol' college vibe that permeates from everybody present (alumni and studes alike).

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Today...

... I got an email from my sweetie (yey!) telling me about his NY trip. Makes me wish i was there with him (he checked out some cool museums, not to mention went around town with some friends). I miss him a lot.Can't wait to see him next year!

... i finally finished the collaterals for the opening. Yahhooo! No cutting for me by next week! (i hope)

Friday, December 10, 2004

Scrumbled Eggs, Anyone?


Scrumbled Eggs, Anyone?
Originally uploaded by psychicpants.
Bwahahaha! I got this pic from my friend Pao, whose quirky humor and interesting observations (read his blog!) has always made me smile. Ayuz!

i want this!

Oooh-la-la!


small doses

Pacita Abad dies at 58

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More updates on post-typhoon scenarios

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So what else is new?

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Thursday, December 09, 2004

still bitching

Purging out my frustrations to a fellow co-worker proved to be somewhat helpful, making me less stressed over the matter i previously blogged about. This conversation, however, raised more questions later on, and we got to talk about the perfect jobs other people were having.

"I've never met a person who likes his/her job" was my standard answer to every question raised by the issue of employment injustice (be it financial, political or something else) --- which still rings true, now that i think about it. Most people i know are well, "happy" in a way that they know their jobs sustain their needs, but are still out for the "perfect job". Some are in it merely for the money (where's the satisfaction in that? except if that is your only goal, that is --- hence the surge of call centers, perhaps?) while others slave into things they rather not do because they are either too lazy to look for another job, or the job they want has no opening. *sigh*

So what is the perfect job? My criteria runs thus:

- flexible time
- goal-oriented
- relaxed atmosphere
- provides a good income befitting job
- great people to work with

So far, my current job has two of these factors, though one is dangerously coming close to an end. Sheesh. I often wonder why i am still here, and i am faced by the astounding answer of 1. I need to have a year's experience and so far, i still have two more months to go. God. I really am astounded how people can stay so long in a job.

I often wonder if it's just me. After all, the longest i've ever been in a "real job" (i.e., office based) was 8 months, since i've been pretty much freelancing for most of the time since graduation. Is it because i fear routine? Is it because i find it hard to wakle up early in the A.m. just to get to work? Or is it because of the office politics? One way or the other, i start to cringe after the 6th month, and realize the flaws and weird quirks the people around me have.

This job offers me a lot more than my previous work though -- including work. I don't mind it so much, after all, college had taught me to rely on nobody but myself to really make things happen, and this was perfect opportunity to really work on that. What i hate is the feeling i get when i am in the office, like someone is constantly watching me and making my life hell (i hate being watched!!! ARGH!!!) I hate the office red tapes, political issues and whatever jargon they use to confuse those who are not in the know. Things should be simple, direct and transparent, especially when it comes to matters of money. Hell. This job is milking me for what i am worth and is short-changing me every step of the way. Fuckit.

friggin' thursday

Who would ever think that Thursday, of all days, will be such a shitty day!?! Thiursday is usually my "happy weekend start day". It's the day before Friday, so i eagerly wake up in anticipation of the weekend to come. Things usually are lighter by thursday too, as work has been finished for most of the week (like the deadlines i was dreading -- see previous blog). So why THE FUCK am i pissed?!? (work rant coming up --- skip it if you want)

I cannot imagine how things work at the office sometimes. Apparently my status as employee is being questioned again for tardiness. How trivial can you get!? My pay is being cut into pieces due to my tardiness, but they never offset i tto the number of hours i extend after work. Most of the work i do usually gets approved in the afternoon, so hence i gotta fionish it before the day ends, right? Why the fuck don't they adjust it!?! I do NOT get overtime pay and i still slave over things (for four companies, i might add) yet they still manage to reduce my pay to a measly amount over fuckin tardiness!!?!!!

Shet. The countdown to March continues...

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Last night

Left the office around 8ish and stopped by our soon-to-open Gateway outlet (it's opening this Sunday). Looks good, and i was happy to find out that the mall complex connects oh-so-conveniently to the LRT that's going to Katipunan. It's really good news, since it'll be easier to go to Katipunan from work now (MRT to Cubao then to the LRT going to Katipunan). I can;t wait to tell Jason! :-)

By the time i came home it was almost 9:30p.m. Had a tuna dinner while watchingThe Sopranos and Friends (what else!?) ...I was hoping to go out and grab a cuppa coffee at the nearby coffeeshop, but i got so engrossed at The Sopranos that by the time i checked the clock it was almost 2am! :-P Man, those mafia people are so damn interesting...

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Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Lastikman launch!


Lastikman launch!
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.
My friend Pika sent me this through the email -- pretty kewl event! This is a resurrection of a comic character who is recently brought to life in local films. I've been to previous comic launches of Mango comics and they usually are pretty fun, and i can't wait to go to this one. asteeg! Kita-kits!

Shoutouts, etc.

BIRTHDAY SHOUTOUTS:

It's my big brother's birthday today and to celebrate it, he's getting his daughter baptized. I heard it was a really nice ceremony (it was early this am) and very intimate. Awwww! He's getting adjusted to the whole "daddy" persona it's cute. Btw, i'm a godmother, but being proxied by my mom since i couldn't attend. hehhe. Happy birthday Manong! Love ya!

It's also Ghiel's birthday, one of my "big brothers" a.k.a friend from FA. He's in Cali right now --- so Ghiel, if you'r ereading this, Happy Birthday!!! :-D

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

The perilous thoughts of Christmas gifts

In my attempt to cool down my head this morning (due to the lame-ass DFA incident) i went around Greembelt to shop for gifts. I love shopping (well, window shopping mostly); it's one of the saner things i do when i am really pissed off. I get splurgy most of the time and given my state of mind it feels good to blow off some steam with material things.

Shopping for people is like a puzzle --- you gotta figure it out how things fit, and if they fit right. In this case, i like customizing my gifts to the receipient, which makes the whole process at times psychotic (self-afflicted pain, as some people call it). I have this theorem about gift-giving: The closer you are to the person, the harder it is to get them a gift . It's true, i find it easy to buy a gift for an acquaintance, but the people who are dear to me? Zilch idea on what to give him/her. In this case, my folks and my sweetie.

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My folks' case is a classic stand-off: they want something special, but not expensive or splurged on; something that says classic, yet contemporary enough to be in vogue; something they love, yet also something that is useful. With all these requirements, as well as their somewhat mysterious interests, i was left going around the malls looking for a gift that can at least fit two of the requirements. *sigh*

My mom's taste, be it bags, shoes or jewelry, tend to be on the higher-end side, so i am wary of what to give her. She is especially picky on these things because she can easily buy these herself, hence, any of these options is a no-no. So i am left with possible things she can use for either : her thesis, stuff for the house, or things for her work place. *sigh* I know i'll feel bad if i end up giving her something generic. As for my dad, well, truth be known, we are not that close but still, some paternal respect urges me not to give him the generic tie and cufflinks gift that most kids buy their dads. Hay naku!

Now my sweetie: he and i had this "no gifts for xmas" deal and he ends up surprising me with a gift before he left. *awww* i feel bad that i didn't give him something, and i really do want to give him something for Christmas so i am racking my brains really hard for the perfect gift for him. Thing is, it's hard enough to find a gift for a guy you love and really like; it's harder to find him something he doesn't have already. *sigh* I just hope whatever it is i get him he'll enjoy.

*sheesh*

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Now, finding the perfect gift for others is a task that is somewhat complicated and can pose as quite a challenge. Finding gifts for yourself, however, is the opposite :-D So, so my indulgence (and a quick guide for those who may get me for secret santa in the xmas parties) here's my list of gimme's for the holidays:

- those really nice shoes from shoe salon
- John Lennon's acoustic album
- The Sundays album
- an Adidas red hooded jacket
- ipod casing for my mini ipod
- a laptop (haha, asa pako!)
- GCs from Rustan's U
- a digicam (preferably nikon coolpix SQ or 3700)

Hmmm... still thinking about the others...heheh... this is it for now...

The friggin' DFA and post-party chika

I went to the Department of Foreign affairs earlier today to get my passport papers processed, but had THE worst time dealing with the people there. First off, i got dissed by the guard (the friggin' guard!) for not knowing where to go to when i asked how to get my papers processed ( hellow!!! There wasn;t even a posted sign that will tell where to go to, so of course you gotta ask!). I was really polite and everything but he just kept cutting my explanation short by saying that i should go somewhere else, and had this sardonic smirk on his face. Fuckin' asshole --- there is a Reason why he never got around to be something else in life! Fuckin' asswipe thinks he's God simply because he's covering the gate for the higher ups. sheesh.

Anyway, I go to this small corner where they were giving out forms for the passport and ended up talking to this guy who wants to charge me P10 for pasting my photo to my "new" form (he also asked if i wanted to get the new form because my form is "not the right one daw"). ANO!?! PUTANGINA anong kalokohan to!?! Even the simple task of pasting one's photo unto the form was costing me money! He gave me this "lecture" about not being pissed because this is how it works. Fuckin' shit! This is how it works here in Manila! How stupid is the fucking system? I processed my passport (the one that i lost) in Iloilo in a day, and the people were so nice and helpful. Geez. Just what is wrong with this city? Everybody wants to have a piece of what you have, and will use any means necessary to get it. I called up my dad and told him i was going to process my papers in Iloilo instead, so i'll be going home to Iloilo on the 22nd to process it nalang. My mom was right: life in the province IS simpler.

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A lot happened last night too --- had a pedicure date with Melissa at the salon, and after that we headed over to the apartment to watch The Gathering --- creepy movie but it turned out to be nothing of that sort --- stopping by at Yellow Cab for pizza. My first ex was there, with his current gf, and Melissa got to check him out . Hahaha, he still looks the same way he did when we were going out, i felt the urge to go to him and ask him to have a makeover. :-P

Last night was the office party of one of the companies i was working for, so they had one of the restaurants closed and used for the venue. It started late (what else is new?) and everybody was a good sport because they were in costumes. Our marketing guy gave me ride to the venue since he also came from QC and we smoked up a really good joint before heading there. I had a buzz by the time we got to Makati and was really slow. We dropped by a convenient store along Makati ave. and i felt myself doing frame-by-frame movements and grinning like a complete idiot. Tee-hee.

We got there safely (thank god) and just chilled while everything was being set. Soon, the party started. The drinks were free-flowing so i ended up having more than 7 shots of tequila and vodka, aside from the beer and mixed drinks available. I was just tiny bit tipsy and was able to get back home safely, not to mention got myself a prize from the raffle (it was a gift pack of tuna and sardines --- all sorts! Your cabinet is now stocked with canned fish goods, heheh) There was also dancing till the wee hours and a lot of socializing with the other people in the company. I came home greeting the sunrise, wearily carrying the raffle prize i won.

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I miss Jason. He called me last night, while we were on the way to Makati, but the line got cut off. Shet! It was really good hearing his voice. The pre-Jason life takes some time adjusting to --- i think i've gotten used to our living arrangements a little too well that early today i had The Family Guy episodes playing while i was dressing up so i could have a semblance of "normalcy". hahaha. I miss you baby!

Monday, December 06, 2004

monday blahs

Loneliness can be very mind-sapping, and a great motivator, though admitting to being lonely is equal to admitting that sometimes, just sometimes, you would like to take a knife and plunge it into another person just to see what it would be like. I am lonely.


I find it heart-wrenching to read something like this from a friend. My friend Lucy is what you would call an extrovert, a happy-go-lucky person who seldom gets into the mushy/dismal phase of a normal gal's life simply because she chooses to live her life the way she wants it. I feel bad too, since i can relate to her somewhat (see previous blog on lonely christmas to be) and can only hope that things will turn out great for her soon. Perhaps this is the time to reconnect with my roomie and be the party gals that we were hehehe....

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Everybody's excited about the christmas party tonight. Yes, tonight. We're celebrating out office Xmas party at 12mn later, till the wee hours of the morning, apparently. The theme is Hawaiian (God knows why!) and we're supposed to be in teh proper gear. *sigh* fun. Hmm... maybe i can just take pics of the peeps later...hehehe.. ;-)

Sunday, December 05, 2004

random thoughts on christmas, et al.

Today my sweetie left the country for the holidays. Yup, it'll be some weird Christmas for me. It's amazing how even though i end up getting a boyfriend before the year ends, i still have yet to enjoy a Christmas together with him. My past relationships didn't exactly give me a chance to do so due to a number of reasons:

A) I spend the holidays with my family, who are based in the province. It ain't exactly a jeep or a bus ride away, so this is basis enough for not getting my sweetie to spend Christmas with us.

B)He is out of the country. For the last two relatonships, the guy is usually based outside my country of origin, hence, the thought of doing the holiday thing is totally impossible.

C) Slight factor, but true: I fear for his sake, of what my family (both immediate and extended) may do to him. I have seen many a cousin suffer such fate, bringing their boyfriend/girlfriend into the family holidays, being grilled to death by fathers/uncles and talked to by countless mothers/aunts about anything and everything.


So anyhoo, he left this afternoon to catch his evening flight. We had last-minute errands, lunch and coffee, before getting into the whole goodbyes and hugs scenario. It's somehow reminiscent of last year --- *sigh*. I know he's only gone for three weeks, but i can't help but miss him....

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This year may be the start of firsts, though. I'm spending Christmas at home, but will be spending my first New Year's here in the city. It's interesting, and somehow i feel things may never be the same after this, not in the homefront anyway. I feel sad, for some reason, about this, after all, it's tradition that i'm breaking here. But still, i can't help but be excited about the change too...

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Lette's Reading list

To ease the boredom and possible bouts of anxiety/dimensia i may experience while my sweetie is away, i have bought several books to occupy my time (not to mention racked up a bill enough to break the bank). You might find any of these books interesting enough to browse through:

Trading Up by Candace Bushnell
I mentioned this in an earlier post, but i must say, it's a good enough read to check out again. It follows the adventures and misadventures of Janey Wilcox, a character Bushnell introduced in her previous book, 4 Blondes. Wilcox, a wanna be star/personality, has established her status as supermodel and is now embarking on a new future, meeting up with past loves, liasons and getting into the dirty of New York.

How to Travel with a Salmon and other essays by Umberto Eco
I am still halfway into this book. It's basically a collection of essays Eco wrote throughout his travels, with witty and funny anecdotes on how to handle typical tourist scenarios, from riding with an Italian cabdriver to travelling light. A bit wordy for my taste, but enjoyable all the same.

Sex Lives of Great Artists by Nigel Cawthorne
This book is like a peek into the intimate life of artists, from Van Gogh's demented and sometimes amusing perusals to Gaugain's exotic tastes. It's actually one of the books publsihed by Cawthorne whose main interests are the sexual appetites and exploits of interesting people, from Popes to Dictators. :-P I actually enjoy reading this, since this brings back a lot of the interesting discussions my art teacher had with us in Modern Art class.

Stories and Poetry of Edgar Allan Poe
Ok, ok, this thing got me hooked for a bit since i was only familiar with Poe's poetry. I was intrigued by his sad sad life and how it was reflected through his poetry. His stories are sad and at times really mean, though. His word construction takes some getting used to, too. Still, it's worth the time to read. :-)

Saturday, December 04, 2004

party hardy

With Yoyong well on its way out of our area, the night was balmy and clean, with people out enjoying the start of the weekend. I received a couple of text messages concerning our supposedly night out at Red Box, which was an on-again,off-again scenario. Finally, i got the final word: no RedBox tonight.

I wasn't really that excited on the prospect of singing karaoke with a bunch of people i'll be meeting for the first time, but then again, i guess i would have to do it. Better that i will be making a fool of myself with my sweetie than by myself. :-P Hence, i was actaully glad that the night activity was cancelled. At least there won't be any downpour tonight due to my grating voice. haha.

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I met up with Jason and Haydee at Cibo, Shangri-La for dinner. Jason and I both love it for two reasons: they have great food, and yes, they make really good pomelo shakes. :-) I YM-ed Haydee to meet me there since she needed a favor from me and from our last conversatiion, i felt that she needed to talk, or something like that. I did miss her too! She went back to our province to attend a friend's wedding (another classmate who managed to snag herself a wedding ring while "looking for work" --- that's another story tho). Anyhoo, we all had dinner, with Haydz giving the details of the wedding (orange gowns!) as well as some interesting updates about friends, and Jason sharing some last-minute gifts he picked up while waiting for me.

Btw, my sweetie looked hot in his white shirt and jeans! :-) I remember he wore that shirt on the night we schmoozed with Maggie at the Mandarin, and he wore that cool blue tie --- he looked really good in that too. hehhehe :-)

After dinner we headed to Makati to meet up Edel, MItzi and some of Edel's med classmates. Once again i was surrounded with Phil-Ams,Fullbrighters and med students who decided to get their degree here. Interesting mix of people i hang out with, admittedly. I finally got to meet Lucee's ShyGuy, and the guys whom the gals (Eddel, Mitzi,Mel and Lucy) were talking about. The crew was pretty kewl, and we ended up in V-bar after a short round of drinks at the Big Grill. This place is the typical expat spot, always open till the wee hours, and yes, filled with expats, phil-ams, foreigners and the like.

Since it was early, we headed out to Temple to dance and schmooze a bit, while waiting for Aileen and Arnel to meet us. Mel, and Mitzi were talking funny (they got tipsy fast), the guys were goofing around, and Edel and Chad were really getting to know each other now. Me and Jason? we were watching the scene, getting cozy on our own. Mel, Jason and I went over to The Coffee Bean to sober up with some coffee and cake later on. We met up with Lucee before heading back to Vbar, and from then on danced the night away. In some part of my consciousness i was appalled by how much alcohol i drank that night, not to mention how calm and normal i seemed to be all throughout that time. Tee-hee. And i got to dance with mys weetie all night! Alcohol is good. :-)

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Friday, December 03, 2004

Yoyong day two

I woke up to a quiet morning of day two. Somehow, the non-rainy day was unsettling, albeit the relief that it wasn't raining. I figured this was the calm before the storm, but then again, when it was raining last night, it was more of winds blowing and not rains ravaging the entire metro. :-P Oh well. I guess i'm just thankful that manila wasn't hit as hard as the rest of Luzon.

I envy my friends today though. They are cozily at home, enjoying the day off, as their superiors thought it best to stay in, in case the rains come back. As for moi, well, as much as i want to curl up in bed, i am here, typing away and trying to get things done before the weekend. At least i got to spend time with my sweetie before he leeaves this Sunday...

We had our "breakfast" earlier at Starbux, having the soy-based drinks we love (soy latte and soy mocha) while munching on some tuna pandesal and carrot cake. It was nice, for once the place was devoid of people and noise, and we got to share some Qt together. Ahh, l'amour. I miss him already and he has yet to leave!

I really do not know where this is all going. Believe me, as much as i want to think that this is all going to head to "forever after", i cannot help but think that if ever that may be so, it won't happen for at least 6 more years. *sigh* I am in limbo on what to do, after all, he has become so dear to me. I want him to be happy and yes, i know he will be great in the path he will take soon after he leaves here for good.

And again, i ask myself, why the hell do i fall for guys who just leave!?!!?

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Anyhoo, my friend called me at work today, asking if i have any plans of switching careers anytime soon. It appears that he is currently looking for someone to replace him at his job. I love his job actually. He lays out a teeny bopper magazine (my first job, which was fun, except my AD was this stupid arrogant asshole who thinks he's really good at it --he sucks, trust me) and he's the AD/CD. I would love to do that again (a nice break from all the routine) but unfortunately i vowed to finish this until i complete a year's work. *sigh* I just hope that by the time i leave for anotehr job, there is opportunity waiting for me...

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Thursday, December 02, 2004

rain rain go away...

Some Christmas this will turn out to be.

it's day one (technically)for the super typhoon "yoyong". Wasn't able to go to work due to the weather, hopefully things will get better by tomorrow --- yeah, right. The news have been reporting some serious damage to come by tonight and tomorrow, so my plans to even go out is a no-go. Been holed up for the rest of the day watching The Sopranos with Jason. It's pretty okay, despite the weather.

I feel so bad for those people who have been struck badly by previous typhoon "winnie". Their area will be once again struck by the upcoming typhoon, and from what i heard from the news, more than a hundred people have already died. *sigh* The country is really suffering, trying to hold on to sanity since it's already the 4th storm to hit us in two weeks. There isn't anything much anybody can do, except pray... :-(

Jason's flight back may also be cancelled if the weather continues to be like this over the weekend. I feel bad for him, after all, he's kinda stressed out enough about his interview as it is. Now he has to deal with the bizaare weather and the big possibility of having his flight cancelled. I just hope everything turns out ok.

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For now, i am just sitting here, trying not to think too much about work (my bosses have been calling me all day about projects due this weekend). I just hope that if there is a super typhoon, it will not cause too much damage and will be over quickly, so that everything can go back to normal soon. It's wishful thinking, but what the hey?

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Tuesday, November 30, 2004

And it all comes down to...

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It was raining all day yesterday. The morning was murky (well, that was what i described it, ok?) and well, wet. I woke up feeling murky myself, since i hadn't slept a wink due to intense paranoia and an insatiable mood to just think (i ended up nursing instant coffee at 3am in 711). My sweetie went up to our friend's room to use the net and check out the tube while i feigned sleep.

Things weren't fine, at least on my part because i was still having the guilt trip about my sweetie waiting for me all the friggin' time due to work (see previous blog). I decided to get out and do something other than think crazy thoughts. I shopped at Rustan's for some fruit and stuff we needed, and checked out the goodies at mag:net (at least i got my mom a gift! yehey) Finally, after some more activities (i.e., mail check, cleaning, etc.) i headed out to the room and hung out with him, bringing my peace offering for my strange mood: mixed fruit. After watching some tv, we finally got to settle my paranoia/drama queen queries, which made things a lot easier and nicer. I can't believe how weird i was getting until we finally talked :-P I guess sometimes my PMS does get the best of me. Yargh.

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My love, thank you for being such an understanding person. I cannot express myself decently enough without getting too mushy --- you are such a sweetie! mwah!

Monday, November 29, 2004

end of a long weekend?

It's a holiday today since GMA declared it, so tomorrow (the official holiday) we can all work (mas madali, mas masaya daw) *sigh* Some weekend this is turning out to be. For starters, my PMS is wreaking havoc on my emotional and mental state that i fear my demise is coming. For another, the stress factor hasn't exactly diminished this weekend, since i keep thinking about a lot of things -- work, my sweetie's impending leave for the States (it's only 3 weeks, but still!!!), and yes, my current spending spree. Yargh.

Ok, so let's breakdown: The work thing has stressed me out since i had to work Saturday afternoon (against my will, mind you) and left my sweetie exploring greenhills by himself. I feel bad, guilty at the least, because i promised myself that given he has only a week left, we'd be spending time together. *sigh* This compounds stress factor #2. Because of the work, we rarely spend time together, and whenever we do, i get childish and fight over the most mundane things (due to stress factor #1) I know i shouldn't feel this way, but sometimes i get depressed that a), i can't spend as much time with him as i can and NOT be picky; and b), soemtime she can be insensitive about the whole thing. By that i mean, he's physically here, but his brain is somewhere else already.

I am happy and excited for him that he'll be seeing everybody familiar again and all that. I just feel weird about being with someone whom you know isn't "here" as you are. I mean, i feel like i'm an accessory to his existence for the time being. Like all people, i want to be valued in the company i am with, and as much as i try to be noncholant about all this, i can't help but feel miffed. At times it gets soo bad that i feel that i should just leave him alone for the rest of the week so he can thoroughly enjoy himself without having me to disturb him... Still, as much as i would think that, i find myself feeling guilty and bad for not supporting him and being happy for him. Hence, you see my demise here. So what is my final answer? I will try to be more supportive and happy, even if its kills me. Hopefully, his insensitivity will pass (either that, or i may totally control myself from being too bitchy about a lot of things)*sigh* I love the guy. He drives me nuts sometimes, but i love him. Pass me the prozac, will you?

Anyhoo, to have something to do for the weekend, we decided to venture out to the malls and do the xmas shopping bit. Never was i soo overwhelmed about spending! For everybody: It is BAD to do your xmas shopping if you are stressed out or having bizaare mood swings. I ended up doing so much damage to my wallet that until now i am in awe of how much i spent for gifts. YARGH. Despite all this, however, i was able ot spend time with my sweetie, and for that i am glad.We pored over gifts and nice pasalubongs for his family and friends, and i got to buy some cool gifts for my family and friends too. We enjoyed a good late lunch (@ Cibo!) and yes, even managed to check out some stores at oh-so-busy MEgamall without losing our wits. Quite an accomplishment, considering it was a Sunday, and a sale at that!

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My friend Lucee posted this recently and i think it's lovely:

nostalgia
Heart be still
your senseless beat is beginning to
irritate my senses, sending false signals
touches of fire woven into my belly of sighs
laments and unspoken wants.


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Saturday, November 27, 2004

Trading up



i finished it. finally. It's pretty interesting. Will give full review next blog.

highlights of the week so far

thanksgiving part deux

Suffice to say that thanksgiving day started bad for me. The workload was getting to me (and it still is) since Christmas is nearing and i am inadvertedly in work mode 24 hours because of the friggin' deadlines, i wasn't exactly over the paranoia drama that i was having, and on top of that was having major mood swings due to PMS. Argh.

I dunno what's wrong with me. I've been suffering some serious mood swings that i feel like i should be taking prozac and talking to a shrink for real. It was soo bad that i had to talk to Mary through the phone in the middle of the day so i wouldn't bolt out of the office and disappear. *sigh* I blame it on a lot of things, but most i guess i blame it on myself. I feel that sometimes i am just out of it, and get stressed out over the most minute thing. What the hell is wrong with me? My worries resurface so easily at the oddest times that i can't hold a tight rein on it and not let it affect me for the day. Yargh. Now i feel like a complete idiot.

Nway, i decided to chill with some friends, meeting up with Lucy, Mary and Herb at the exhibit opening at West Gallery. Apparently it was a group exhibit, which also featured my good friends Ferdinand and Nona. The works were fab (as always) and i loved the installation/mixed media works Nona did.

We headed out for CPK for dinner, since Mary needed to use up her gift certificates. Twas good, we ordered some good grub and talked over gal stuff, work and current rants. Lucy and i caught up on news and the current guy she's scouting (read her blog) while Herb told us about her awful PM.

Checked out Freedom bar with Jason after dinner (we hooked up after his thanksgiving dinner --- a slight miscommunication through text there, but we managed to smoothen it out and meet up, yey!) to meet up with Sonic. Turns out it was metal night, or something of that sort --- the bands were pretty loud. We ended up playing pool next door and drinking beer. The pool hall was a mess, to say the least, with its mismatched chairs, uneven tables and somewhat interesting crowd --- some guy friend of Sonic's mistakes me for someone else and tried to flirt (a pathetic one, but ok, since he is a friend, i was polite to him), but we had a good time nonetheless. Jason and Sonic had a couple of games, and Obey even managed to show up and shoot some pool! Twas pretty fun to see the guys again and we carried on with the drinking at The Meat Shop.

The Meat Shop is this spot along Xavierville Ave. that mainly functions as an actual meat shop by day, selling pork, chicken and beef. At night it transforms into this "bar" serving P18 beers and good pulutan. It's gotten the reputation to be the place to get cheap beer, cheap food and cheap booze, not to mention some interesting action once people get drunk and rowdy.

Nway, we stayed there talking and drinking, with Jason buying this Korean alcohol that was pretty intense (i forgot what it's called). Sonic's friends from the village were also there and we got to meet and chit chat with them for a bit.Twas good, i found myself reliving college life for a bit, and managed to have a decent "hanging out session" with Obey and Sonic, not to mention introduce and have them hang with my sweetie. We had a grand time, and i'm really glad that despite the poor start of the day, it ended FINE!

+ + +
MTV, E'heads and the taxi ride

My boss, Pao, gave me tickets to the MTV Asia Awards last night and so, rather than waste them by not going, Jason and I went over to the Fort to check the place out. Good thing we did! It was pretty fun, with free food (the hors d'euvres were great -- we couldn't stop eating), free drinks (Heineken!?! But i rather have the red wine...) and yes, good music (ok, so we only watched Bamboo since we left early, but still, it's Bamboo!!). So what else was there? Games, talkative and LOUD hosts (as if teh mics weren't enough) and all the shiny happy people of Makati,apparently. We lingered over the food and booze more than we did over the event though, heheh...

We headed to Saguijo later to check out the Eheads Night, only to arrive there too early. People (including the bands) were just arriving, so we checked the exhibit upstairs -- kewl! It was an exhibit by Patty and Maria. Great stuff! We checked out while Twisted Halo was playing to look for smokes, but found none, so we grabbed the next taxi we saw coming our way.

BIG MISTAKE. The taxi driver was apparently high, his driving was poor and totally terrible, and i felt like throwing up after the ride. It was sooo bad that upon arriving, i had to take pain relievers to stop my head from exploding. *sigh* Yargh! I had no choice but fall asleep to relieve my pounding head....

long weekend....
It is a loong weekend as i spent my afternoon slaving away at work. ARGH. My boss obviously has a life : WORK LIFE. WTF!!???!!! ITs friggin..... argh.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Thanksgiving day blahs

Today is thanksgiving day. It's a holiday of the US to celebrate their country's pilgrims' first dinner with the indians, or so my sweetie tells me. I'm not much into thanksgiving, but i greet the obligatory "happy thanksgiving" all the same ot those who are celebrating it today :-) For my significant other, it's a holiday and he has a date with friends tonight to have a buffet dinner at this really posh hotel. As for moi, I am "celebrating" it by checking out some really fab paintings at the exhibit opening in West Gallery.

Why are we not celebrating it together? Hmmm... well, for one, money reasons: the "buffet" costs Php875/pax --- for me, that's a big WTF!?! since A) i'm not a big fan of buffets (i can only eat twice at the most, so that'll be like, P400 per meal), B) most of the food will be stuff i can't eat (turkey, meats, etc.) and C) the tradition is something i have not grown up with, so it'll be kinda weird. Strangely, it may also be because of the secret reason D) i was not invited. :-P Suffice to say that i am a bit pissed. After all, thansgiving is not an everyday occurrence. But anyway, we hope to meet up after the said dinner.

Unfortunately, the planning was well, quite weird, to say the least. As much as he wants to meet up, he isn't sure at all. What does that say to me? My paranoia can't help but surface a bit, and i feel a bit dejected at the thought of him not making any effort at all to meet up. I keep asking myself if this was what i wanted, or is this just the way guys act. I kept reprimanding myself not to lose it or be too freaked out, after all, it's just dinner...

Perhaps it's not just that. He'll be leaving in a week for a month-long stay back home, and well, already i'm missing him. SUre, it's only a month, but who knows, right? Nowadays he acts distracted, and i can't help but feel that he can't wait to be rid of me (or something to that effect). I mean, it's getting to me sooo bad that even i think that i should just stop this right now and get out of his life, for both our sakes. *sigh* My paranoia kicks in overtime at times. But i can't shake that feeling off... I just hope it's all in my head.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Some news

RP officer sent home for alleged shoplifting

After reading this, i can't but cringe. When will we learn? Most people bitch about our country's regression but still opt to do the bad thing. Geez. Tangina talaga. Nakakahiya. Kahit gaano pa kadami na ang nasabi, ganun pa rin nangyayari. Pohtah.

+ + +

In the UP front, we have ourselves a new prez. Congrats to the new person in charge! (though it has been quite a while since i stepped unto the grounds of my alma mater) Here's to better education, progressive teaching and learning and yes, less budget cuts. :-)

+ + +

Ok, on my last note: the illustrated poetry book endeavor that my cousin Aurelio Lopez III and I did is finally up for sale. Check it out here. The book design can be done better (i wish they made me do it, yargh) but i'm glad it's finally up. :-)

bday_couple


bday_couple
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.
Token pic of the sweethearts (naks!) on the eve of the 24th bday (coincidentally it was our one-month anniv on the same night) :-)

me_and_jasonic


me_and_jasonic
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.
My inuman buddy/bro/ka-gmik Sonic and me sharin a kodak moment during the bash. He stayed for a little bit, but had to leave early. Dude, nasa akin pa yung cooler mo!

FA peeps and then some


triumvirate1
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.
Here's Jordz, Anton and Herb, some of my kewl friends whose love for music and the arts have inspired me a lot --- Herb gives me the push to learn something new everyday (my constant yearning to learn more has led me to take up a sem of MA classes --- she's doing her thesis right now), JOrdz's creativeness constantly pushes me to be more experimental on my art, and Anton's love for music and Korean Movies bonds me with him and Manila (i miss our vcd marathons!)

MORE pics!


haydz_karla_hirosh
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.
as promised, i will post more pics of the grand "cocktail" party (aka bday bash) i had on my 24th day. Here's Haydz with Carla and Hirosh -- di ba cute?

midweek rants

+ Some people just DON'T get it +
Not surprisingly, the nature of my job escapes most people, especially people who are NOT inclined to what i do. I have been given a notice regarding my so-called work hours, reprimanding me for being late most of the time and yes, unable to perform well because of this. I just DO NOT get it. My work entails on-call jobs, tedious work of designing and implementation (not just click-clicking of buttons, hello!!!) and most of the time, manual labor (i.e., those 5 thousand boxes i need to make before the christmas season starts), not to mention logistics and follow-ups on printers, etc. SHEESH. I cannot understand that my tardiness (which i make up for by working throughout my lunch and supposed merienda time) is being scrutinized simply because i am not punctual. I thought this friggin' company wwas output-oriented! Fuck this.

+I'm missing my friends!+
I was reading pika's blog earlier and i must say, i'm missing my barkada... I'm missing some serious chillouts, and yep, my gal pals! It made me wonder how, after being so close for such a long time, did we end up barely hanging out these days?
Ba't kaya? Di kaya dahil lahat ng gimik nasa Makati o Ortigas? Di kaya dahil sa sobrang tagal ko nang di sila nakakasama ay nakalimutan ko na kung paano makisama sa kanila? O di kaya dahil ibang-iban na ang mundo ng lahat?Minsan naiisip ko rin baka dahil hindi nagsasalita ng Tagalog ang kasama ko, nahihirapan makipaghalubilo and barkada sa amin, o kaya nahihiya sila. Ewan, minsan, nalulungkot ako mag-isip na baka dahiul dito kaya kami di na nagkikita. Naiisip ko na rin na baka lang dahil sa ibang -iba na rin ang mga gusto ng mga kaibigan ko na hindi ko na rin alam o nasasakyan dahil sa sobrang tagal na naming di nagkikita...
I rarely find time to hangout these days anyway, and most of the time i'd be spending it in QC with my sweetie and/or our friends. (Though I admit, these days, i opt to spend time with him, since he'll be back in the States for Xmas next month). Still, i miss the gals' night we used to have at Eastwood, the impromptu coffee talks and some serious chillout sessions we do. Maybe it's also because i haven't been exactly that visible in the last couple of group gimmiks. *sigh* Anyway, i do hoope that there will be a group gimmik soon, so we can once again re-group and bond. Yey!

+Murphy's Law is stalking me+
No matter how much planning you do for the day, work never gets done on time (if it does at all). I am currently wasting time away waiting for final approval on my menu boards, due tomorrow for the printer. *sigh* What they say about punctuality is sooo not happening on this aspect of the work. I cannot believe i wake up this early to just stare at my computer like this. Sheesh. This is the reason why i do NOT go to work early. hahaha.

Monday, November 22, 2004

post-weekend musings

+work plus flu sucks big time+
I was at work on a Saturday due to some big project we have going due Tuesday this week. Big deal right? It is, when you're nursing a pounding headache, work-related stress and trying to "relax". Of course, i felt bad since the past two days i wa sout of the office due to said sickness. *sigh* So much for resting. I had to do some pick-ups of photos (aka messengerial work) in the rain. SHIT. My job and actual job description do NOT are not in sync.

+exercise is good+
Ok, sometimes you do need a bit of a push when it comes to the E-word. Yup, i have been decidedly become a couch potato the past few weeks, mostly due to work stress and the need to just chill. So yesterday, we decided to stop the madness and actually get some exercise. We swam a bit at the deck pool, and walked around the Ateneo grounds. Considering my lack of movement, i was puffing away after about 10 mins of merely walking. *whew* i can feel my heart move. seriously.

+ sometimes my drama queen syndrome surfaces +
Perhaps it is this state of hysteria/paranoia that led me to think that my sweetie thinks the worst of me. Frankly, my insecurities has risen to the surface more often than i can hold them in, and we had our first non-screaming bout of stand-offs last night due to some stuid remark he made. Of course, my nerves and weird behavior had something to do with the fact that as soon as i said it, i started the waterworks. Dammit. Hence, the cool silence for the next few hours trying to hol don to running emotions and settling matters peacefully. (we did, thank God!)

+ + +

My mom recently texted that we may be moving soon. WHA--!?? apparently, we may be moving apartments before the new year comes in. Nope, not to somewhere really far (the new place is in TV, after all) but to a more secure area. It's cool though, there will be more space, more bathrooms (yey!) and hopefully, more hanging out areas. Still, i am unsure on how to go about with this. This would mean moving expenses, moving worries and yes, more moving scenarios.

I am not particularly fond of the physical act of moving. I love the idea of something new, change, etc., but the actual transition stresses me a lot. Perhaps its because things, as much as you plan them a certain way, never really work out the same way. Also, people you encounter or help you out with this become instant enemies the minute you argue over something as little as, "where to pu the vase". *sigh* I've moved in and out of a number of apartments throughout college and post college, and i tell ya, it is STRESSFUL. *sigh* One can only think of the results to appease one's emotional upheaval.

+ + +

While i was doing my thing, my friend Lucy was chillin' with the idea of renewed singlehood. I wonder sometimes why she endures MHB's lack of interest/commitment. I just hope that this renewed interest on playin' will not get her heart broken again. That aside, i salute here feisty spirit and her unwillingness to succemb to such madness that is pining. You go girl!

Thursday, November 18, 2004

pedicab


pedicab
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.
Pedicab is comprised of artists who come from different bands creating some funky mix of music that's both scintillating and lovable. Asteeg!

the roomies


yuma,lucee,me
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.
it took me a looong time to post this, but i finally did!! :-) This was taken on the eve of my friend Yuma's performance. Yup, that girl definitely rocks!

FA_peeps hangin'


FA_peeps
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.
the few, the sweet, the kewl peeps! Some of my FA pals and gals took their time off to greet and hang with me on my 24th day. Sweet! :-)

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

The aftermath of the long weekend

Highlights of the long weekend

Travelling by bus can be torture. Or worse. Deciding on the friday bus ride to Baguio was perhaps the smartest decision we made for the weekend. Apparently the rest of Manila had the same idea --- go to Baguio for the weekend, enjoy the cold (?) air, make like thieves in the night and take the friday bus. We arrived to the chaos that was the bus terminal at 1045, expecting to get an 11pm ticket. How stupid of us not to consider it's a long weekend (and payday at that!) The line was atrocious, and we ended up getting a ticket for a bus that was leaving at 3am. Whoo-pee doo.

Have a plan. Have more than one plan. Had we waited for Sonic and friends to go to Baguio, i think we may never have made it there. They have been eeriely silent despite my nth message re: when and where we were going to stay in Baguio. Luckily, my cousin Aumer got us a reservation at one of the rooms in her place --- asteeg!it's big, clean, quiet and yup, cheap. Best of all, my cousin knows the owner, so we got to have a lil' bit more freedom when it came to using the facilities.

Make like a toursit and do the sight-seeing bit.We opted to do the "tourist" thing and check out the spots --- walking was a good exercise, despite the growing pollution problem (what do you expect, Manila peeps with their cars and vehicles were doubling the pollution). Fantastic sights at the Butterfly place in John Hay, as well as interesting stuff at the Commissary, and yep, we had to go through Narda's for the required look-see of bags, et al. hehhe. And of course, since we were staying near the grotto, we couldn't resist a trip to the top --- in less than 5 mins! :-) whoo-hoo! (Not bad for a couple who haven't been exercising for a couple of months)

Food, glorious food! The two days and one night that we were there was perhaps a lesson on food 101. We were staying near the famed Salud! resto, so we had a scrumptious dinner. Cheesecake at the John Hay Manor was heavenly, as was the dinner at Cafe by the Ruins (we were hoping to grab some lunch there, but had to move since they were sooo many people). A little bit of caffeine dose at the local coffee place in Legarda, as well as Ruins tea topped off our meals.

Wake up and Smell the coffee! Checked out the public market for some take-home goodies and ended up buying some fruits, coffee and --- yes--- more coffee!! We had some whole beans (as well as ground beans) from the local coffee shop (Kape Umali) which pereked us up all throughout the time we had them.Yes, they smelled great, but after a while they just began smelling. And smelling. hahaha. On the way back the bus started to smell like coffee. :-P

+ + +

Divisoria, part deux

On the afternoon of Monday (a holiday declared by el Presidente Macapagal) Mary, Jason and I trekked to Divisoria via the MRT. Twas a a nice afternoon and yes, i got to buy the stuff i needed for work. We got to check out the lovely yest people-packed Tutuban Center for items and decided to move to Quiapo to source out some martini glasses i needed.

What's amazing about Divisoria is the extreme variety of everything found in one crowded place --- all sorts of items, sold from the cheapest price, to the most expensive; people, from the richest to the poorest, all in one giant market; the roads disapppear as carts and carts of items stop in the middle of the road, consuming the space meant for vehicles; selling and buying everywhere; Oh the madness!!!!

Jason and I decided to take a pedicab to Quiapo. (Mary opted to stay in Tutuban, checking out more goodies.) Anyhoo, we arrived at the famed Public Market, where we bought food for dinner (and get the martini glasses ordered!) and yes, sample the local goods the place had to offer. Jason splurged on his fave shakes (Php 6 a glass) and some pomelos (heheh) while i ate some corn on cob and looked over some of the street food that looked oh-so-yummy. :-)

After a tiring day, we managed to get back tothe MRT and head off to Katipunan. Ahhh. It feels soo good to get out of Manila!

+ + +

Friday, November 12, 2004

5 things

5 songs that's stuck in my head:
*Must Get Out -Maroon 5
*The Luckiest - Ben Folds Five
*I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas - Goldfinger cover
*Sunday Morning -Maroon 5
*Dy'er Maker - Sheryl Crow cover

5 things i did before coming to work:
*Stayed in line at the bank to encash payment
*got stuck in traffic
*picked up stuff from the printer
*talked to my brother on the phone
*chewed gum on the way to the office

5 places i wish i was in right now:
*boracay (again)
*in a five star hotel's swimming pool
*at home with my sweetie
*in Italy
*chillin' with barkadas

kewl ness!

Plug into Dino Ignacio's site for some really fun stuff. Asteeg!

Also, have a look-see at Orisinal for some fun and games.

I wish I'm somewhere else...

"...And so, one of things I like about Europe is the healthy attitude towards sexuality and sensuality: it's so open, it's not dirty. You see people kissing in the streets of Paris and people go "Aaaaaw, l'amour" (on the contrary, you see people in Makati kissing and the reaction is, "God, PDA!") It's just love. And with love comes discovery with your partner, in all aspects, sex included." My friend Kala tells about her folks' kewl atittude about sex, love and the life and i am sooo jealous. I wish my folks were more like hers.

I hate to say it, but my mom's one of those "close-minded gossips" she was talking about. I guess it's all about the upbringing. She came from a really conservative family whose idea of being up close and personal with your significant other was having a ring on your finger and exchanging vows. Yup, and you guys have NOT done it yet. So, in reaction to my brother's current status, as well as my own, my mother has created this melodrama about how we are becoming the loving son and daughter she has always thought us to be (this is in short of saying that we were ---gasp!---"living in sin").

For the past few days, my family members have been keeping tabs on me, some subtlely, others blatantly aggresive (i.e., my mom). It's funny how this comes into the scene every time i get involved with someone. Call them paranoid or concerned, my family has always been THISCLOSE to making me leave the country because of their constant scrutiny. Of course, it's not that i don't appreciate the concern. I do, it shows that they care about me. What irks me is that the extent of this concern at times crosses the line of being insane and offensive (see previous post for more).

In exasperation (and a need to bond with siblings) i got to talk to my older brother earlier. It's funny, his concerns about our folks mirrored mine and we never really discussed it till recently. Apparently my mom has been gossiping about me to him, and vice-versa. He told me his side of the story and defended me to my mom ( love you bro!) for everything i've been doing. I know we haven't talked as much in the past, and we rarely hangout when i get home, but i am so glad that despite this, we have each other's back. It's amazing how comforting his word is to me, especially nowadays. He's been through what i've going through right now, with my mom and my dad, maybe even more, but i really admire how he handles himself with them, always patient and understanding. I wish i can be like that. *sigh* Anyhoo, he's been supportive and really cool about the whole thing, and for that i'm glad. Thanks Manong.

*sigh* The holidays are coming up. I dread going back home for this kind of melodrama.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

FA week '02, e-love letters and the like


faweek4
Originally uploaded by bunnie_lette.
Going through some old emails i came across pics sent by babar.

It's amazing how cool College Week was back then --- no curfews, zany guests, interesting events and yes, a great concert that brings people from the UP Concert into our college perimeter (that is one BIG pull, considering it's UP Fair and most people would flock to the Sunken Garden). These days people have been "classified", organized and unfortunately,cleared of any memory of the glory days of FA. I say glory days because it was not merely the physical chaos that showcased the creative, almost psychotic state of arts and culture in FA, it was everybody's state of mind that said "Fine Arts is not merely education and technical know-how; it's a friggin' way of life, a mindset that is unique and against the flow. It is not merely thinking; it is creating something unique and doing what is not in the norm." Nowadays i see normally-clad individuals trying to do something creative in an environment that demands order and mediocrity with its rules and regulations. *sigh* so much for creativity.

Searching through these i also came across several email correspondence i had with my last love. *sigh* how bittersweet the memory of love is. I stop and read some, and unknowingly read some more before i stop myself. I guess you can't hep but miss the guy, after all, he is - was - really sweet. No hard feelings on both our parts (i hope!) and for that i'm glad. Am i merely being sentimental? I hope that things are ok on his end.

Anyhoo, i am hoping for a cooler FA week for next year (still looking for something to the ones i remember). :-)

Tangina!

Tangina talaga!

Ba't ganun?
It sucks to use GUILT to get your way! You of all people should know the meaning of "living your own life". After all, this is what you've been hammering into my head since day one, remember? I just do not understand it that when it comes to actually doing this, you have to suddenly drop emotional bombs like the ones you've been texting since last night.

WTF!?!? How can you even think that way? He certainly does NOT think that way of me, so how could you? My own flesh and blood?!?

Friends tell me you're just being "concerned", but hell, ever since i've known it you have beentrying to sabotage my life with all that emotional drama. Even when i was young, you would think that any relationship i had with the opposite sex was conniving and bad. Pucha, kasalanan ko ba na mga karamihan sa mga kaibigan ko lalaki? Ganun ba? Pokpok na ba ako dahil dun? Hindi mo man lang naisip na marami akong kaibigan na lalaki dahil trip ko mga trip nila, at walang masamang intensyon ang mga ito sakin? Tsaka, ano ang hinaharap mo sa kanila? Hypocritical bullshit. Leche. You of all people should know about this since you've had your share of hypocritical bullshit from your enemies, even from family.

You say that i will end up like people you know who fucked up their lives. Shit, after all the lectures and "advices" i've gotten these past years, i was NOT the one who ended up pregnant, miserable and without a freaking idea of what i want in life. Those who told me shit like that were the ones who did. Just because i chose not to be an overachiever and actually enjoy living my life does NOT mean that i am squandering it away. In fact, i am living it, not exactly the way YOU want it, but the way I WANT it.

I am not one of those girls to sit idly by and let everything just "come" like that foolish notion of a guy who will "save" me from whatever shit i am in, or get me out of mediocrity and bring me to the "happy ever after" part of life. I AM NOT LIKE THAT and you know it. So why all the fucking melodrama? Why do you want to make me feel bad about something i have consciously thought about, decided and took pains on working at? Why are so fucking scared that i am --*gasp!* -- HAPPY?

It's not that i don't heed your advice or give you respect or whatever the hell it is you want from me. All i know is this: I have thought about this, we have discussed this, he is fine with it, so are everybody else; i assumed, since you welcomed him and all, so would you. After all, I am friggin' 24!! And yes, i was NOT coerced, nor did i get into this blindly as you may think i did. I thought this through, i have my own reasons for doing this. Do not make me feel cheap and embarassed by my decision by telling me that i am. You only think that way because of your concern? PLEASE. The fact that you think that way about me only shows me how much you really think about your own spawn. *sigh* And i thought we were ok.

FUCK this.

I hate the fact that you use that meternal hold and parental guilt trip even until now. SHIT. Salamat sa pagtitiwala mo sakin. Even after everything we've talked about in the past, where the fuck is the trust?!!?
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